Diary entry: Scarlett O'Hara

Dear Diary,

      My life since the Civil War has completely changed and I know that it would never be the same, because so many things have happened during the time after. I have been married three times with men, who I didn't love, because I've always loved and wanted Ashley. But if I haven't marry to those man, I wouldn't be here at the moment and everything would be different. Even though I have good and sweet memories about good old days in Tara, I have to let them be in the past, because if I won't, I'd be like Ashley.

      Melanie died and I promised her that I'll take care of Ashley, but I regret that a bit, but I guess I'll have to keep my promise. Melanie cared about me and I realized after her death, that I cared too. Because she always protected me and didn't believe all those negative rumours about me. I've been a lot through recently. I lost my baby who I was carrying and my four-year old daughter. The both accidents were hard to manage and not only for me, for Rhett too. I don't blame him, but both of them were his fault too. And besides that I finally realized thanks to Melanie, that I don't love Ashley, I love... Rhett. Oh,  I've been mean to him, especially in the past. He has always loved and helped me, but I haven't understood it. Of course I told this to him, but he said that he is leaving and it's loo late. But I won't give up hope on him. I've always get what I have wanted, and so it will be this time! But at first I need to go Tara and rest all of this, because it isn't over and I have to wait for Rhett. I wish so much the old days, when me and my sisters lived with our parents in Tara and we had a good life. I fooled boys and it was all just a game for me, but now I'm a grown woman and I have children to take care of, and Pa and mother is gone and Tara doesn't look the same. But the most important is this that I still have Tara. I did so many sacrifices for this place, but I don't regret them. This was worth it. I have to emit that I married with Charles and Frank because of money. And with Rhett too, but...I just hope he comes back soon.

      I'm sure everything goes well, it just has to. I've came this far and there's nothing could stop me now.

Love,

Scarlett